There is a lot of talk within global financial circles about France losing its AAA rating, following the path of my home country, the United States.  I really started to buy into this idea, but just when I thought that France had no real shot of warding off this downgrade, BAM!!!, they go ahead and COMPLETELY REDEEM THEMSELVES!  I am happy to announce that France has officially safeguarded itself from financial collapse!  How, you ask?  Three simple words…Baguette Vending Machine.

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Session BlackThe members of the Delicious Attack trio have been avid beer samplers for many years now, constantly searching for the next best brew.  For a long stretch we were hooked on heady stouts and powerful porters.  Then came ferociously hoppy IPAs and robust barleywines.  Our palates changed quite dramatically and we moved on to sour ales and gueuze.  I’m not sure if it was a matter of circumstance or maybe a need for something new after assaulting our gullets with highly-acidic brews, but about a year and a half back we changed our focus a bit and set our collective gaze on rum, bourbon, mezcal, and whiskey.  Now, I must make note that we had always sampled spirits during our beer days and certainly maintained an interest in beer during our spirits phase, though we do seem to have obsessive and compulsive tendencies…and not to mention competitive natures.  Our competitive natures are WAY better than yours, FYI.  Anyway, I digress.  Back to the matter at hand.   The other day while having a couple of drinks out at The Butcher Shop in the South End of Boston, I decided to mix it up and try a beer I had never had/seen before.  The beer was called Session Black and is produced by Full Sail Brewing Company, located in Hood River, OR.  I’m going to go pretty far out on a limb here, but it was one of the top 5 best beers I have EVER had.

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Just because two or more separate food items are delicious on their own DOES NOT mean that when combined create something even more delicious than the sum of its parts.  I’m looking at you, Hawaiian pizza lovers.  Shame on you…

Whole Foods has mediocre meat.  It is way overpriced and rarely memorable.  If you buy most of your meat and fish at Whole Foods, I suggest you look for better, cheaper options.  For those of you that live in eastern Massachusetts, I recommend checking out the following three places:

1. Blood Farm in Groton, MA –

2. Butcher Boy in Andover, MA –

3. New Deal Fish Market in Cambridge, MA –

The first two establishments are superb sources of meat.  Blood Farm, in particular, is remarkable.  The meat is as fresh as it can possibly be, the prices are very affordable, and the experience of shopping at Blood Farm is worth the trip alone.  The New Deal Fish Market is the best fish market I have been to in Massachusetts.  I worked at an upscale fish market in Connecticut in my high school days, so I know good fish when I see it.  The quality and selection are out of this world, and the prices are far better than those at Whole Foods.  An added bonus, the service is incredible.

Don’t brush your teeth and then immediately eat some fudge…it is not a pleasant form of mint chocolate.  Instead, just try brushing your teeth with mint chocolate fudge.

Baileys is good.  No, I take that back.  Baileys is great!  Wait, no, that isn’t right either.  Let me think about this…ok, I got it.  The THOUGHT of drinking Baileys is great.  It’s creamy, boozy, Irish, and combines two of my favorite things, being high-fat dairy and getting blotto.  I kid, of course.  High-fat dairy isn’t one of my favorite things…

Why is the thought of drinking Baileys great while the actual act of consuming the Irish concoction is, well, not so great?  SUGAR AND MYSTERY INGREDIENTS!!!!  I find Baileys to be overly sweet, which in my mind is never a good thing.  I also am not a fan of the unknown emulsifiers and other ingredients added to the beverage to prevent separation and enhance shelf life.  So, what’s a person to do when they want a creamy, delectable cordial but don’t want to experience the shortcomings of Baileys?  The answer –> head to the kitchen and make your own!

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There has been a TON of talk in the media recently about the rumors surrounding Delicious Attack.  Is it coming back?  Are the three Delicious Attack contributors coming out with a line of bacon-scented colognes?  Will there be a Delicious Attack movie?  Well, we are happy to announce that ALL of the rumors are true.  Delicious Attack is officially back in action, the cologne will be called Calvin Swine, and the movie will star Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, and Carl Weathers.  Prepare yourself for some really fun and interesting new postings, starting off with giant Nigerian snails, DIY cordials, and life on a New England goat farm.  Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Delicious Attack is BACK!

Tired of using coffee as a crutch, about 4 months back I kicked the habit. Sure I’ve dabbled since then, but not once have I looked back longingly. Starbucks, bad breath, and that humming nervous feeling of having imbibed too much caffeine can take a hike.

In its place, I have nurtured a taste for Earl Grey tea that has grown into a veritable addiction. I have bulk ordered “double bergamot” varieties unavailable locally, and become known for regularly toting a flashy glass tea vessel for loose-leaf on the go.

In an unabashed effort to push my Earl Grey fanaticism yet further, tonight I bring you the first installment of Adventures in Earl Grey, an exploration of the many less common uses of a tea that I have grown to love.

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I recently went to a restaurant in the South End of Boston called Coppa, which is one of Ken Oringer’s growing group of top notch restaurants within Boston’s city limits.  I dined on numerous dishes that most patrons would shy away from, like calves brain ravioli, braised pig tail, and charred octopus salad.  However, the dish that really got me excited was duck prosciutto, one of the many items available on the charcuterie menu.  It was fatty, gamy, nutty, tender, and pleasantly salty.  Most importantly, it was something that I knew I could make with just a little guidance from a charcuterie master.  Two days later, I began the prosciutto-ization of some prime duck breasts.

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Sports aren’t for me, and the gym is revealing,
I want to lose weight, but few options are appealing.
I could opt for surgery, or buy a treadmill
But neither option sounds like too much of a thrill.
A stationary bike?  Or maybe some crunches?
Or maybe give in and eat multiple lunches.
Wait a minute, I think that’s the ticket!
To Taco Bell I shall kick it.
Options a-plenty, chalupas abound,
With each taco salad I eat, I’ll shed many a pound.
With the Drive Thru diet, success is at hand,
I will achieve the results that I had always planned.
Wholefoods?  Bye bye!  Slimfast?  See ya!
It can’t be healthy if it isn’t wrapped in a tortilla.
Pomegranates and fish oil get all the press,
But it’s the Burrito Supreme that will let me fit into my old dress.
Seasoned ground beef, cheesy lava sauce,
These are the keys to epic weight loss.
Well it looks like some sort of celebration is in order,
Because much like my cholesterol, I’m heading south of the border.

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